Self Help

Disclaimer:  The following post is just for me to get my thoughts out.  I am no way looking for pity on any level. 

Over the past few months, I have begun to realize how I need to get my life back in order.  While I do an OK job being a full time mom and a full time worker, I’m still lacking in several areas.  I see myself letting so much slip by me at home.  I hate the feeling that I’m always not getting something done or forgetting something.  I love to organize things, but can’t seem to get it all together lately.  I’m sure most people will think I’m just complaining about life, but I honestly feel like I need to get it together better. 

I know majority of this I can quickly fix, but it’s making myself do it is the hard part right now.  Right now here is a quick run down of my day during the week.

5:00am-6:00am—Wake up, get ready, prepare bottles for Zoey if I did not do this the night before, any little things that come to mind to do
6:00am-6:20am—Wake Zoey up and feed her.
6:20am-6:30am—Dress Zoey for the day.
6:30am-7:00am—Play with Zoey before leaving for the day and finish getting ready.
7:00/7:15am-7:45/8:00am—Commute
8:00am-4:00pm—8 hour work day
4:00pm-4:45pm—Commute home
4:45/4:50pm—Pick up Zoey from Mrs. Hudson’s
5:00pm-5:30pm—Feed Zoey dinner
5:30pm-6:30pm—Cook dinner
6:30pm-7:00pm—Play with Zoey until she get sleepy.
7:00pm –8:30pm—This varies depending on who lays down with Zoey for the evening.  If I do, this time is spent cuddling with her and nothing else. (Watching TV or reading might occur).  If Brian lays down with her, I do a multiple of things, laundry (not as diligently as I should), knitting, crafting, cleaning up things, nothing, etc. 
8:30pm-9:00pm—Get Zoey ready for bed, fix last bottle of the day, fix bottles for the next day, lay out sleeping bag (we have now changed the name to be sleeping bag instead of straight jacket since we no longer swaddle Zoey at night), wash paci/lay it out, any last minute chores.  Brian feeds her at this feeding and puts her to bed. 
9:00pm—Get ready for bed
9:15/9:30pm-10:00pm—Get in bed and read or watch TV, then sleep.

I have no problem seeing where I need to utilize to my best my time.  It is a matter of me getting up off my lazy butt and doing it.   It’s that time during where Zoey takes her evening nap. (Yes, at some point we will put her to be around 7-7:30, but right now this is part of the time we get to spend with her during the day.  I have been thinking about this a lot but it just hard for me to do that since we don’t get to spend time with her during the day.)  I honestly should never sit down to do nothing until everything on my to-do list is done regardless of how tired I might be that day.  I honestly probably need to stay up later too, but that would require me not going to be when B does and that’s something he prefers. 

I have started going back to doing individual to-do list for each day instead of a long running one to be completed whenever.  I did this back in college and some afterwards and it helped me get everything I need/want to completed in a timely manner.  At one point before B and I got married, I even had the to-do list broken down by the times to do things.  This was defiantly the best help, but I’m not there just yet to go back to it.

I also see a need for me to try to get back into journaling.  While I haven’t done this since probably when B and I started dating, I see a need for it to get things off my chest and mind.  While I know I can “journal” some about what is on my mind on here, there are some things that are private and need to be put down on paper to help me cope.  Hopefully this week I can find time to pick up a new journal. 

Once I get to feeling better about this, I hope I can start adding in new goals for each week and finding more time for things.